U

YOU! Yeah YOU!!! Because of you, my life has changed *lho, jd lirikny Keith Martin??. But tat's true, becoz of u all, my frendzzz....*uuh, big hug n wide smile:D, i can face my life problems, u give me strength, make me b a good fighter, b a mature one hahaha *powerranger's laugh. This' my Greece, having YOU, as my frends:) *siapa saja yg merasa, tak terkecuali hihihi. Thankssssssss... *no enough 's' lho.Mmm...feel heaven.... Udara malam pun terasa sesejuk embun pagi, gemintang dan purnama tetap tak tersaingi indah dengan sinar mentari. Apa beda malam dan siang, dua ciptaanNya yang tak sewajah namun serupa. Kukepakkan bahagiaku pada cakarawala sana. Biar langit menebar kepakan itu pada tiap lelap nafas. Karena fajar layak disambut oleh senyuman mimpi-mimpi yang bangun, selalu.
End with say Alhamdulillah...

My Struggle Of Feeling

23 Februari 2008

Maybe someday I’d love him…because sometimes…I have felt it, sometimes… And I’m just feeling it right now, with anxiousness, that myself don’t know the reason. Do I worry bout losing his care? His love? Why I often not consistent with what I’m feeling, because it’ll make me sorry, n could make somebody hurt, include him. i don’t wanna hurt him, God, please help me:(

24 Februari 2008

This my way of life… no need to sorry. After they said “he” knew it, i have already closed my ‘hope’, by no body, but by myself. Oh God, but in deep of my heart, I really…really…feel so…so…s o r r y, just bcoz of my choice. Crying is meaningless, saya harus tegar, dengan pecutan tangan saya sendiri, yang telah menunjuk pilihan hidup saya. Itulah belajar dari suatu kebodohan, saya harus menerimanya. Peringatan pertama sering dilalaikan. Penyesalan begitu manjur membuat kita mengingat sebuah peringatan. Dan tangisan tidak akan membantu mengubah semua kenyataan. Kapan saya bisa mengkhiri kesabaran akan beban dan tekanan ini *seberat itu y?!* .... Biar aku menertawakan dan mencemooh diri saya. Biarkan, biarkan saja, saya rela ditertawakan. Dan aku berkata: lain kali berpikir lah tiga kali ok, jangan seenaknya mengambil keputusan begitu cepat. Oooouuughhhhhh…! *seolah raungan serigala menahan suara saya yang ingin berteriak, dari balik terang purnama sana* Lucu, jadi ingin berimajinasi … mengingat kembali memori indah saya, saat bertemu dgn pujangga abadi saya, karena momen itu adalah yang membahagiakan saya sangat, dan tidak ada hubungannya dengan kisah saya sekarang, klasik, hahaha *ketawa miris… wat?? damn, u’re stupid!* H_O_L_D O_U_T, remember that Bani said: di balik tirai-tirai kesedihan ada kebahagiaan. The past had past, this time will past, and i must look at future.

Btw, tugas banyak, tapi saya justru ingin menelantarkan meraka. Yah…mencari kesenangan sesaat. Bukan malas. Hanya pikiran saya ini sedang ogah dijejali segala macam yang berhubungan dengan tugas. Tapi bagaimana y, saya ingin mencari sesuatu yang benar2 baru sih, maksud, blm pernah saya lakukan sebelumnya, bisa jadi sesuatu yang sejak dulu saya idamkan untuk dicoba, namun belum dapat kesempatan untuk melakukan sesuatu itu. Yah… begitulah manusia:)

25 Februari 2008

Insya4JJI I’ll always realize of Greece:), thankful…Alhamdulillah…

Sad first – realizing – then happy after, or just the opposite, and so on.

C o m e-O n

Oh, God, i'm too fast to take the decision! I know... my choice of life is my life consequences!!! Arrgh! Oh,please never stop 2 gimme Ur guidline. It's useless to feel sorry, but i feel suppressed. N now still search for d world, for anything 1 world with mine. Choose...then bear ...choose...then bear...choose...then bear...
or give d chance!...but fear...
hhhh... Just go mad, myself.
N take ur risk, fool!
C o m e-O n rei,just hold out.
B a wise-one.

The Soundless of Rain

08 Februari 2008

We just drive
In the night pouring rain
To some place
Far away

Dear blog, aku bermimpi…(Untuk yang ketiga kalinya) dia mengendaraiku naik mobil. Hanya kali ini, dia berada di sebelah kiriku. Gerimis berkejaran di luar kaca sana, dan hari sudah gelap. Jalanan terbilang cukup padat, mobil2 yang merayap dengan arah tujuan yang sama, yang ku tak tahu kemana, seolah kami dan mereka ingin meninggalkan kota di mana kami berada. Dingin menusuk, dan aku bersandar di pundaknya. Lalu dia merangkulku lembut. Aku tersenyum, ada perasaan nyaman dan sayang. Kupejam mata saja, menikmati keriuhan hujan yang hening, serta hangat sebelah lengannya yang melindungiku. Sesaat kemudian aku terbangun, dan melupakan mimpi itu. Perasaanku mengganjal, sesuatu baru saja terjadi.

Ah, Akhirnya mimpi itu kembali muncul dalam pikiranku. Dan aku mengingat semua.

And I woke up
Felt sad and sorry
Lil’bit
Something has missed
Lost from my sight
Since the rain began to stop running
In this evening
Then I realize
Knowing sit alone
Hope the man was here
To make me feel alright

Breakfast 4 d Winner: Vision

OK! Let’s being a new one. Yesterday I was back 2 my home sweet home, just lookd 4 life inspiring and some refreshment. U know, being bore is an usual feeling, when u get stuck 4 sumthing u do repeatedly . N..in my luvly home, I really had a good time, got precious lesson...life-lesson.

We should know wat’ s our life’s breakfast. Dad said 2 me “Do u know wat’s the breakfast 4 the winner? Vision. Vision is d breakfast 4 d winner.” I just got impressed 2 hear tat, were silent 4 a second. He said tat u must have ur vision become true. When u have ur vision in ur mind, describe then draw it as clear as possible, even make it as if u cud touch n feel it held in ur hand. (Alright dad…! I’ll do it as hard as I can, while Allah helps me 2 reach it)

Then he asked me,” Do u know ‘great’? wat do u think about great’?” I said,” great? Mulia? Hebat? Mmm..God? God is great.” He continued “Ya tat’s absolutely, but ‘great’ in human action, wat is it?”. I tried 2 answer “mmm….i think it’ s great when human help d others 2 get their vision…?”. Ya, tat’s it. Look at our country, we sud make n help ‘d community’ b proud of themselves n no need help from others anymore. (yeah…). Not only d khalifah who can b a human of God, but we also indeed. One time, b a great lady, reihan…

Then there’s question II: “Wat’s a lunch 4 d winner?”. I wasn’t answer it, waited he’d tell me d answer. But he said “No, u must find it by urself…”. OK…!

Analysis… visualize…

After all, tat’s just a part of wat he said 2 me tat night.

Thx dad…:), 4 always make me never stop learning new thing. (big hug)